no pun intended

Going back to the five years we had was very unpleasant. Not the physical five years, but the process of going back and catching a glimpse of memory from way back. The good and the bad and the very fond ones that you know you will keep and never forget.

It's hard going back, that's a given. But it's harder letting go. You know you have to though, that's the only way now and this is the only way you want it done. I have loved you every moment, not a single nanosecond wasted. I know, you know very well how and why I loved you.

With eyes wide close and mind shut open, you can recite my emotionally laced soul out in the field, without a single drop of verb. I would have given everything and believe me I have given everything in my humanly possible way to satiate your wanting heart.

And now for everyone to see, hear and feel, I give you my last gift and my ultimate sacrifice.

No words or amount of imagination can ever describe my now tormented being. I know I have to do this and you know very well why I have accepted to do this my love.

I die everyday like it was November 1 in Manila, withering together with the smoke that slowly devours the city. Like a roach that bears the hard thud on its back of the great tsinelas, I cry and slowly die everyday.

I know though, everyday, that in my dying another part of me grows, a better part of me revealed and by divine rule a new verve will come into view.

Now I go back to the words I have written. I pause, I think.

I thank you.


p.s.
Sleep dreams
and sweet tight.